Like Father, Unlike Son

Boba Fett and Jango Fett

Boba Fett works for all the reasons that Jango Fett – and by proxy, the prequel story arc – fails. He’s not trying to be cool, but he just is. He’s not the focus of Episode V, but he steals every scene he’s in. The fact that he’s a bounty hunter makes complete sense, given the culture of the Empire and the underworld it has spawned. He’s given special instructions by Vader, so you know he’s a loose cannon, even by bounty hunter standards. He also negotiates with Vader, which lets you know he’s respected. When you look at that tattered armor, you know he’s seen some serious action. But other than that, he’s a complete mystery, so your mind fills in all kinds of gaps. And aside from his stupid swan dive into the Sarlacc in Episode VI, Lucas doesn’t manage to screw him up too much.

On the other hand, Jango Fett (and the plot of the prequels, of which he is a big part) is unnecessarily overproduced. First of all, they call him Jango a lot, which just sounds stupid. Not quite as stupid as calling a grown-ass man “Annie,” but a close second. Other than the scene in Jedi where Han says, “Boba Fett, where?!” (and then proceeds to kill him…by accident), he’s never referred to by name, and certainly never by his first name. He’s just “bounty hunter,” which is completely bad ass.

Jango’s armor is shiny, which speaks volumes about him; this guy’s a poser. Furthermore, Jango has a lot of unnecessary dialog, generally quirky motives, and seems in every possible way to be a square peg shoehorned into a round hole (or no hole, depending on how you want to look at it). I mean, why does he have to be a bounty hunter in the first place? In a relatively peaceful galaxy where the Jedi keep order, is there a huge market for bounty hunters? It just seems like every other person we meet is one, like they’re plumbers or something. Yet if you’re gonna call him a bounty hunter, then make him one. Throughout Episode II, Jango functions more like a mercenary or assassin (that’s not the same thing, BTW).

They go to great lengths to explain how he’s involved with the creation of the clone army, was given his own personal clone to raise as a son, and is important enough to keep on Kamino. Yet they let him go on dangerous missions to assassinate politicians, which he apparently sub-contracts to lesser bounty hunters, then gets all coy when talking with Jedi who can presumably read his mind. Whenever he’s cornered, he tries to run instead of fight, in the process teaching his son some terrible moral lessons, and manages to get hoodwinked by what one would assume is probably the oldest trick in the space combat book. He rounds out his appearance by serving as the personal muscle of a Sith lord (Darth Vader never needed a bodyguard) and then gets summarily beheaded by a Jedi the instant shit gets real on Geonosis. Jango Fett is basically the intersection on the Venn diagram of eye candy and lip service.

And absolutely none of it was necessary. He could have just been some legendary warrior who never appeared on screen, and he instantly would have been 100 times better. He’s the explanation to a question that didn’t need to be asked. And perhaps that’s the general problem with the prequels.

Whoever takes the helm of the Boba Fett spin-off film is going to have to walk a razor-thin tightrope to avoid irreparably damaging this iconic character. He’s worth a lot to me.

A New Chapter

For the past 10 years, I have enjoyed the privilege of calling myself a member of the TeamHealth family. I joined the Integration & Training team on November 29, 2004. I was immediately impressed with this organization, and I remain proud of the integrity and professionalism with which we conduct our business every single day. Over the course of the past decade, I’ve had the opportunity to work on a wide range of projects supporting our operations and administrative staff, as well as our leadership.

TeamHealth has experienced so much growth and change in the last decade; we’ve become better at what we do, and we certainly do a lot more than ever before. Along the way, I have grown with our organization. In May 2012, I moved to the TeamHealth Institute, and I have since gained additional experience working with and supporting our clinical community.

During my tenure, this company has allowed me to develop important technical skills and to gain invaluable experience with our business. I’ve learned something new nearly every day of my time with TeamHealth, and I’ll carry that with me throughout my career. My colleagues have also become my extended family, and together we’ve shared important life milestones and made memories that I’ll always cherish.

I was recently recruited by Scripps Networks Interactive, and they have made an excellent offer for me to join their team. While coming to a decision has not been easy, I have concluded that I need to take this opportunity for the benefit of my career and family. Therefore I will leave TeamHealth, effective Friday, May 9, 2014. In the meantime, I will be busy working with my team to close out any projects and make my transition as seamless as possible for everyone.

I will be forever grateful for the opportunity to have served this company for the past decade. I wish them all continued success and a very bright future.

 

 

My Status is the Baddest

A friend on Facebook recently asked me about my status updates. He said he very much enjoyed them and wanted to know whether they were spontaneous, carefully thought out and stored in some huge database, or whether I stole them from some website. I thought about a simple answer like “yep, sometimes, and never,” but something inspired me to give him a buck-fifty answer. After all, he was asking a question about my favorite subject (a.k.a., me). So here’s what I told him…

Back in the days of Messenger around the office, I had this running “status update” shtick. It made for good laughs, and I became that zany guy around the office who always had something goofy on his Messenger status. When Windows Live came along, and later Facebook and Twitter, I guess I just sort of kept the tradition going. It became far easier to write a sentence here and there than to maintain lengthy blog posts that few people would bother reading. Mobile completely changed the way I approached sharing, because I could fire off a line practically in real time.

I won’t go so far as to say I’ve never “repurposed” someone else’s content to get a laugh, but by and large, the stuff I put out on social media is my own stuff…for better or worse. I retweet when appropriate and when I do reuse something out of context, I try to be careful to provide attribution. One guy I followed on Twitter got eviscerated last year for plagiarism, and it just destroyed his credibility. He defended that since he wasn’t making money off of it, he could borrow and riff on other people’s (mostly professional comedians’) material, but the dude had to leave Twitter and roam the earth like Cain. It was pitiful. Then this past year, Shia LaBeouf happened. Really, passing off someone else’s stuff as your own, when it’s connected to the source materials via world’s most searchable database takes serious balls. Some time later, I noticed that one of my friends seemed to be killing it on Facebook, but then I looked closer and all of his updates were from an app called “Funny Status Updates for Android.” Groan. Even if a joke falls flat (and I hate to call them jokes, they’re really more like observations), then I’d rather it be mine to own.

I love memes, because they represent an idea that people can build upon. Sometimes, I will do that. You can take a way of phrasing something (such-and-such is probably the worst thing in the history of ever) and put your own spin on it (“Meatloaf is probably the worst thing in the history of ever. You decide whether I’m talking about the dish or the singer.”), but that’s about as far as I’ll go. First and foremost, I want my updates to be authentic, and then hopefully also funny…or at least quirky.

My best updates are an extension of the stuff that happens around the house or the office throughout the day. Otherwise, I feel like they come off as someone trying too hard. And honestly, there’s nothing less funny than somebody trying too hard to be funny (people’s exhibit A: Carrot Top). Self-deprecation is one of my staples, because I’m the one person I can always tease without getting hurt feelings. I’m also genuinely goofy, but I’m probably not quite as socially inept as I seem online. My updates generally do reflect my personal attitudes, but sometimes they’re tongue-in-cheek. And I’ll absolutely give credit to my wife, Ginny, for being my creative inspiration (much to her chagrin, I’m sure) and sometimes the outright co-author for many of my updates. “You can’t post that!” is a common utterance around our household.

Most of the time, updates go straight from my brain through my hand and into my phone in less than 2 minutes (fat fingering aside), but I do keep a running OneNote page called “Musings” where I jot down incomplete thoughts throughout the day, until I’ve had a chance to craft them a bit more. Timing is everything; on more than one occasion, I’ve forgotten and subsequently missed an opportunity. Case in point, the morning after this year’s Super Bowl, I forgot to post:

“Somewhere in the third world this morning, a child is wondering why there’s a demon horse on his new t-shirt.”

There are some that I just haven’t figured out how to phrase quite yet, like this:

“Something about plants being chock full of stem cells.”

I also have a few tucked away that will probably never see the light of day, at least not under this persona. I don’t really filter who sees this stuff, so my rule of thumb is not to embarrass my grandma too much. Maybe I’ll have to invent a fake Twitter handle for my “after dark” material.

Why can’t you run legacy software in Windows RT?

Surface running Windows RT I was discussing the merits of Windows RT with a colleague, and the conversation came to that old chestnut about how Windows RT can’t run so-called “legacy” (x86) software. I got a Surface RT back in February, and pretty much the first thing I did (after unboxing it) was to try to install a classic Windows title, which of course, failed miserably. Today I posited that it might be possible to run portable x86 apps on the platform. Again I was met with the same failure. Which got me thinking, why exactly can’t Windows RT run x86 programs?

I understand that Windows RT is designed for ARM and that’s a completely different platform with a different instruction set, etc. It would be like saying “why can’t a Mac or Linux program run on a Windows PC? Or vice-versa?” It really has nothing to do with whether you can/need to install files on the host OS, but rather whether the OS knows what to do with the instructions that the program is attempting to execute. And remember, the application software doesn’t really communicate directly with the hardware layer anyway; that’s what the OS is for. And the truth is that you can run software on a non-native OS, but you need an emulator (BlueStacks) or virtual machine (Parallels, VM Ware) to do it.

So here’s my quasi-technical perspective on the issue. Windows RT has a Windows desktop. Now especially after having used Windows RT for the better part of a year, you’d have a hard time convincing me that Microsoft completely re-coded the Windows desktop to run on ARM. It just doesn’t make sense, either logistically or functionally. Windows represents the culmination of over two decades of development. You don’t re-build all that completely for ARM in 18 months. And even if you did, there’s a ton of settings, utilities, etc., in the RT desktop that would have no business in a true ARM environment. If you were building a legacy desktop from scratch to support Office, IE, and maybe a few file operations, you wouldn’t go to the trouble of rewriting the entire Windows 7-era speech recognition engine or the Task Scheduler – stuff that you’d really have no need to run on RT devices. Let alone re-building the core Office programs specifically for this environment. So that tells me there’s probably some kind of emulation layer that exists, which allows the Windows x86 code to run on ARM. And that makes the limitation that Microsoft put on traditional x86 desktop software (whether installed or portable) seem completely artificial. Did you notice that when you try to install an x86 application on the desktop in Windows RT, the popup that says “This app can’t run on your PC” uses the new modern UI? That screams “gatekeeper” to me.

Call me a conspiracy theorist if you want, but it’s more likely that Microsoft didn’t want to damage the value proposition they had carefully constructed for Windows RT. After all, if RT could run any x86 software on low-powered ARM devices (even if it was sluggish), then they’d have a hard time selling casual users on a full-blown version of Windows that only runs on a “real PC.” Besides, banning x86 software from RT set a nice low bar for the platform; if you expected to run all your legacy software, and then the experience wasn’t so great, guess who gets the blame? (Hint: it’s Windows)

Look, I appreciate Windows RT and I love my Surface RT. I believe in Microsoft’s long-term vision for it in the post-PC landscape. If it could run a couple of my favorite desktop apps, it’d be all I need. Microsoft should have said, “Hey, we’ve got a version of Windows that can run on top of ARM. It’s designed to work with our new Windows Store apps. If you want to install legacy apps that weren’t designed to run on this thing, then give it a whirl. Your mileage may vary, and if it doesn’t work, don’t blame us.” I think there’s a handful of us that would be OK taking that risk. And my gut tells me it can be done. Here’s hoping someone cracks that nut before RT becomes extinct.

A blog by any other name…

So Internet, I’m really trying to get back in the habit of blogging, and I think a rebrand might help me. Let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we?

When I started this blog back in 2006 on Windows Live Spaces, I just called it “Greg’s Space,” because I’m all about sticking with the default choices (it makes me feel safe, seriously – every PowerPoint is in Calibri). For a while there, I got all creative with it, and changed the name to “Hello, World,” because that’s the output traditionally written by every developer’s first program.

header.pngRemember this era?

A few years later, the blog’s name changed again to “Since You Asked,” because it’s one of those conversational qualifiers for telling someone exactly what you think, but in the most passively aggressive way possible (see also, “Bless his heart”). I liked the idea that this was a personal space where folks who were interested in my opinions could come and read them. Obviously, in the last few years, I’ve had very few blog-worthy opinions to share.

Fast forward to today. My pal Sam was doodling on my whiteboard, and he joked that “gregsedwards” (my original Hotmail username and sort-of brand pretty much everywhere online) looks like “Greg Said Words.”

WP_20131008_001

Exhibit A
(Sam is actually a chimpanzee who has learned to manipulate human tools)

Do you ever have one of those “a-ha” moments? It just struck me that the brand I’ve been cultivating for the past several years would make a great name for the ol’ bloggity blog. So, welcome netizens to the new (but sadly not really improved) blog, “Greg Said Words.”

I wanna go back (go back) and do it all over…

I hate when streaming services use greatest hits albums. It really screws with date-based listening. When I’m in the middle of a 1995 playlist and get a track from 1983, because it was included on a greatest hits album released that year, that really grinds my gears.

I’ve worked very hard to make sure each track in my music collection is properly tagged according to the album on which it was originally released. With the shift over to cloud-based music management, a lot of that’s out the window. Grrr…

Also, my diamond shoes are too tight and my wallet is too small for all these fifties.

Welcome back, blogger

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back... Blogging has been a longtime hobby of mine, dating back to 2006, when I started my Windows Live Spaces blog. In fact, it evolved into the blog you’re reading now. I find blogging to be a great way to share tips and tricks about my geeky pursuits, even if my posts don’t find a wide audience. Moreover, it helps me to organize and archive my thoughts.

And for a couple of years, I kept it up pretty regularly. At least a couple of times a week, I could be counted on to crank out a techie rant or goofy observation, and people from all over the world would pop over to leave their comments. And then my kids came along. And then Facebook and Twitter happened. Suddenly, spending an hour every night meticulously crafting a post with inline images and stylish layouts became a luxury I couldn’t justify. In those few moments between burping, baths, and bedtimes, banging out a few 140-character updates seemed like a much more realistic endeavor. And surprisingly, I found that even though I wasn’t blogging nearly as often, I was actually sharing more information via Facebook and Twitter with a wider audience on a more diverse set of topics.

For a blogger, using a system like Twitter to communicate (and I mean to actually communicate an idea, not just share a link or picture) is quite a challenge, because it really forces you to get to the point. It’s like writing haiku; there’s an elegance in the simplicity, but to master the form, you must first unlearn all the literary trappings you’ve spent a lifetime accumulating.

And yet I feel like there’s still a place for traditional blogging in my life. WordPress has some nice hooks into my other social circles for promoting and sharing new posts. Thanks to mobile apps, it’s easier than ever to post quick updates in the go. In fact, I’m composing this post on a svelte little Wordpress app running on my Microsoft Surface RT. So, I hope to start blogging again with more frequency, even if there’s little hope my posts will be any more interesting to read. You’ve been warned. 😉

One man, some crazy ideas, and a blog.

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